What I want to be when I grow up

That seems like a bit of an odd title for a blog post written by a 22-year-old. Mainly because, I should consider myself grown up at this point. And I do.  But up until this point, I hadn’t decided exactly what it was I wanted to do. I had a very strong, very focused idea, but I hadn’t nailed it down from two or three choices.

As I prepare to begin schooling at the College of Sports Media in September, I figure it would probably be a good idea to get a head start on everyone else there. I already am ahead of the game because of my experience, but this can’t hurt either.  But the bottom line is, I’ve figured out what I want to do, as well as thought about and accepted the road I might need to take to get there.

Being the play-by-play voice of a hockey team is where my heart lies. Of all the things I’ve had the experience of trying my hand at so far, this was the most enjoyable. My time as a radio host was phenomenal, and if there’s a way to work that into my career as well, then I’ll be thrilled.  Fact of the matter is that I believe this is what I was meant to do.  As a little kid, I would mute the volume on my video games to provide my own calls. I’d create games with hockey cards, or the little figures used for table-top hockey games. And every time I provided a narrative for the action I was creating.

When the opportunity came up for me to be the colour commentator for the Carleton Ravens in the fall of 2009, I jumped at it. I wanted the job of my partner, but it was agreed that once he graduated after the season was done, I would have the main gig for my senior year. Luckily for me, Mr. Geoff Ives was called upon to increase his role with Rogers Community TV, allowing me to step into my dream job half a season early. I took the roll and ran with it, and had the time of my life for those remaining games and the entire 2010-11 season. I put a lot of work into preparing for each game, and when I was done, I was proud of what I’d accomplished. I enjoyed receiving positive feedback from fans. People don’t come up to you and compliment your work if they think you stink. They just walk by you, so I can say with strong confidence that my accolades were genuine. I got to know the coaches, and the players, and that was something I really enjoyed. I love that I could bump into two of the Ravens on the street in downtown Ottawa, and I’d be able to stop and chat with them for a few moments. I’m obviously not “one of the guys” on the team, but I’m about the next closest thing. And that’s fine with me. I’ve known for years my dreams of making it to the NHL as player were dead. This is my golden ticket in the side door.

Now I also realize you don’t just jump out of school and say “hey, I wanna replace Jim Hughson on Hockey Night in Canada.” (Although by the looks of it n Twitter, hockey fans of every Canadian team except Vancouver would welcome that move.) I know I’m decades away from the ultimate dream. And there’s a long, mysterious path ahead.  I figure like most players, I’d have to go to junior first. This could be as simple as going down the 401 to call games for Kitchener or London. However, it could mean stretching to the edges of this great country. It might mean going to Halifax, or PEI; it could be Kamloops, or Medicine Hat. I’ve always been fascinated by the west, even though I’ve never been there. Having a job out there might be what it takes for me to finally experience it. And my very brief time in the Maritimes made me fall in love with the area. I’d be more than happy with that alternative as well. I almost prefer a job on one of the edges of the country. Leaving Toronto for Ottawa four years ago for school was one of the best decisions I ever made. I’m happy to be back in Toronto, and hope to be for a long time eventually. But in the interim, I wouldn’t mind being elsewhere.

Of course it could mean heading south, to call NCAA or AHL games first. It’s also a scenario I’d welcome.  See, I haven’t done a lot of travelling, and while neither of these situations offer up exotic, tropical vacations, I’d love to see as much of this continent as possible. Travelling for work would be fun; I can save the other stuff for my holidays. I know I’ll have to put in my work, long hours on buses and grimy hotels and motels with the teams most likely, just like the players that I’ll be covering as we all chase our dream.

It might not be the most glamorous job in the world to some, but to me, there’s nothing I want to do more. Then hopefully one day there will be a generation of fans recalling fondly to each other some magical line or catchphrase I uttered during the game they’ll never forget. Ohh baby. Everything is happening. Or at least I hope it will be soon.

The FINAL Show: Charlatan Live – April 5, 2011

Here it is, folks.  The final Charlatan Live radio show of 2010-2011. And for our cast of characters, it is the last show for us together.  As Andrew, Jeanne, Julia, Pete (this week’s guest-host) and myself prepare to graduate, we were on the radio together for the final time this week.  We had a lot of fun with the show. Jeanne and Pete read fake news, while Andrew and I held our second annual Sports awards show, The Uppies.  Our presenters and guest-appearances came from Dominic Fegan, Erika Stark, Farhan Devji, Taylor Lush and Joel Eastwood.

Thanks to everyone who listened/put up with us all year.  We really appreciate your support. Enjoy the final episode of the Charlatan Live radio show.

Charlatan Live Radio Show – Tuesday March 22, 2011

The Charlatan Live radio show from March 22 with hosts Jeanne Armstrong and Julia Johnson. Enjoy.

And here is the Sports Update from Matt Di Nicolantonio and Andrew Foote.

Next week we will be announcing the nominees for our awards show, the Uppies, and will be joined in studio by this week’s hashtag game winner, James Craig.

Charlatan Live – March 8, 2011

Here’s the Charlatan Live Radio show for Tuesday March 8, 2011.

In the sports section, Andrew Foote and Matt Di Nicolantonio preview the important weekend ahead in basketball for both the men’s and women’s Carleton teams. Also, we introduced the updated version of the Hashtag Game. The inaugural winner is @DominicFegan for this week’s hashtag #RareAsARavensLoss.

Charlatan Live – March 1, 2011

Below is the audio for the Charlatan Live radio show for March 1, 2011. We have conveniently split it up into two tracks; the main show, and the sports. In the sports, we play the first ever edition of the hashtag game. Today’s hashtag was #worsethanfranco, indicating things worse than James Franco’s performance as host of the Oscars. We’ll try it again next week, thanks to everyone for participating.

For the record, Jeanne was not trying to tell me that Andrew’s mic wasn’t working. She was trying to say his audio clip was not available, I misread the hand gestures. It was my mistake. Sorry, Jeanne.

Main Show

Sports

NHL needs to get a grip on itself

To say this was an interesting week in the National Hockey League would be an understatement. Last week in Pittsburgh, we saw a fight-filled affair that featured a scrap between goalies Brent Johnson and Rick DiPietro.

That was the precursor to a 1970s-style game in Boston on Wednesday night. The game had 14 goals, 12 fighting majors, and 180 minutes in penalties. There probably should have been more than that too. No suspensions were handed out, although perhaps some discipline for coach Claude Julien would have been warranted for sending out goons like Shawn Thornton and Johnny Boychuk in the last minute of a three-goal game. Adam McQuaid got a double-minor for roughing, for essentially beating up Max Pacioretty for no reason. Tim Thomas and Carey Price “fought”.

I’m not going to lie, I was excited to see it. My roommates and I leapt from our seats and sat on the floor in front of our TV like six-year-olds watching Saturday morning cartoons. The only difference being we sat there pounding the floor yelling “Goalie fight! Goalie fight!” It’s no secret the fans like fighting, especially when the tenders get involved.

Most of the action in the Boston-Montreal game was fair. Hits that could be interpreted as cheap shots led to scrums, which led to fights. I have no problem with that. Sticking up for a teammate is fair game. When the Bruins enforcers started beating up on the Canadiens’ skill players in the final minute of play, that’s where I draw the line. I highly doubt Jaroslav Spacek and Tom Pyatt were interested in fighting at that point. The NHL could have sent a message to other teams by reprimanding Julien and his band of enforcers.

Which leads in to last night’s debauchery on Long Island. It was re-match of the Islanders and Penguins, and it made the Bruins-Habs game look tame. 65 penalties, 14 fighting majors, 11 game misconducts resulting in 10 players being tossed. In total, a whopping 346 penalty minutes. And most of it was highly unnecessary.

One of the first incidents of the night was John Tavares’ two-handed slash to the ankle of Kris Letang. Tavares received a two-minute minor for slashing, and was allowed to stay in the game. It was a blatant attempt to injure, and he should face a fine at the very least. Bobby Clarke would have been proud of this one.

Then the fireworks really began.

In last week’s game, Max Talbot laid a “questionable” hit on Blake Comeau. I saw it. Didn’t have an issue with it. If the Islanders did, they should have had someone fight Talbot. He’d be more than willing to oblige, and that could have been the end of it.

But instead, Matt Martin attacked Talbot from behind in an incident that looked eerily similar to Todd Bertuzzi on Steve Moore. Martin skated up behind Talbot, dropped his gloves and fired a sucker punch. He didn’t connect, and it’s difficult to tell whether he eased up or Talbot felt it coming. From there, Martin, Travis Hamonic, and Josh Bailey of the Islanders were ejected. Deryk Engelland, Pascal Dupuis and Michael Rupp of the Pens got the boot. Talbot was on the ice getting beaten down, and did not getting a fighting major. The Islanders obviously felt there was more work to be done.

Under five minutes into the third period Trevor Gillies took a run at Pens’ rookie Eric Tangradi, flying in from the side and elbowing him in the head. Gillies struck Tangradi with so much force that he fell over himself. When he got up, Tangradi was holding his hands to his head in obvious pain. Gillies decided it would be appropriate to drop his gloves and start pounding on his innocent victim’s head. Isles’ enforcer Micheal Haley, called up for this game, went after Talbot. The two fought, and that should have been it.

Of course not.

After Haley finished with Talbot, he skated down the ice to get some revenge on Johnson. The Pittsburgh goalie accepted the challenge (when he really shouldn’t have to). Penguins enforcer Eric Godard came off the bench to defend his netminder. He was ejected, and will face an automatic 10-game ban for leaving the bench in a fight.

The most despicable image to me from this come was Gillies. With Tangradi still on the ice being tended to by the trainer, Gillies was standing at the entrance to the ice near by and yelled at Tangradi. Seriously? You just attempted to knock this kid unconscious, you failed, then you tried to beat him up, and now he’s lying on the ice hurt and you’re still trying to assert your dominance. Grow up, Trevor.

And if that wasn’t enough, Zenon Konopka went after Talbot AGAIN. Both got roughing minors and 10-minute misconducts.

I sincerely hope the NHL throws the book at the New York Islanders, and throws it hard. The Islanders, who were LEADING 6-0, decided to beat down on a team who is playing with an injury-ravaged roster as they fight for a playoff spot. It’s clear the officials let this game get out of hand, but shame on the Islanders. It’s one thing to start up goonery when you’re trailing by a wide margin, but when you start that while winning, that’s just disrespectful to the game.

The Islanders are 15 points out of a playoff spot. They’re clearly not going anywhere this year. None of the players who fought are impact NHLers. The league should suspend them all a minimum of 10 games, and coach Jack Capuano as well. Why would he continue to put out these players and allow them to fight, when clearly the message had already been sent?

Handing out multiple double-digit suspensions will send a message to the rest of the league: this is hockey. Play the game. Yes, fighting is part of the game, but what happened last night in New York was not. It was a black eye on a league that is continually trying to get and keep fans. If die-hard hockey fans are upset about what happened, how does it look to people who don’t follow the league? Gary Bettman, Colin Campbell and the rest of the league’s administration can tell the world they’re serious about policing their league properly. Sadly, they likely won’t, and this kind of nonsense will continute to happen.

Full highlights on YouTube, courtesy of hockeyfights.com:

Charlatan Live – January 11, 2011

Below you’ll find the link to today’s show as it aired on 93.1 CKCU in Ottawa. The only change is that the song has been omitted. We’re currently working to contact bands to ensure we have their permission to post their songs on the web. For the time being, the song will be taken out. However, I have included the intro, and information about the band as it was heard on the show.

Jeanne and Julia were the hosts today. If you want to fast-forward to Julia’s interview with Graeme Owens, you can find it starting around the 10:00 mark.

If you want to skip ahead to the sports (and I can’t blame you if you do), Andrew and I begin at around the 17:00 minute mark. Total run time is 30 minutes. You may have to wait a few minutes while the whole file loads before you can fastforward easily. Thanks for listening, and enjoy!

One thing I forgot to mention during the sports today is that tickets for Capital Hoops at the end of January are now available. If you need more information, contact Andrew or myself and we can help you out. But do hurry because they will go quickly.

No Silver Lining

I have to apologize, Canada. It seems I cost our country a gold medal at the World Junior Hockey Championship tonight.

You see, I, like many other people who have ever played sports in this country, am extremely superstitious. I’m a creature of habit, and when something is going right, I refuse to break from my ritual for fear that I will be the one to cause the apocalyptic downfall. This is usually in reference to sports. Mostly when I play, but also when I watch. And in this particular instance, it begins and ends with hockey, and the Russians.

Let’s rewind. It’s February 2010. The Canadian Olympic team has been very disappointing in the men’s hockey tournament up to this point. They face a Russian squad full of confidence in the quarterfinals. The victor gets one step closer to Olympic gold, and immortality. My roommates and I settle in to watch the game, and witness what eventually will become one of the most memorable hockey games of our lives. Canada defeats the Russians 7-3, the first time they’d defeated that nation in Olympic play in 50 years. This borders on a hockey miracle.

During the final moments of this game, my roommate, Gabe, and I decide that we’re going to go out the next morning and purchase Team Canada jerseys. It seems like the right thing to do. We’re off to the semifinals, one game away from a winner-take-all match for gold. We’re on home ice. This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. It’s the right thing to do.

The next night, we parade our jerseys around the house proudly. They look good. They look crisp. The red and white is pure patriotism, baby. This night also happens to be the evening of the gold medal game on the women’s side, a tough test against the Americans. Gabe and I are wearing our jerseys prior to puck drop, ready to cheer our ladies on. Shortly before the game begins, for one reason or another, Gabe and I both abandon our shirts. They get draped over the couch, but we’re still watching the game. Canada wins 2-0. Olympic champions.

Hmm, we think. Maybe the jerseys aren’t the key to success after all.

The next night is men’s semi-final night. We’re up against Slovakia. Because we’re Canadian, and superstitious like that, we drape the jerseys over the couch in the exact same spots. We all sit in the same seats as we were for the Russia game. We win again.

It has to be us, we think.

Two days later, it’s the Gold Medal Game. The big cheese. The one we’ve been waiting for. This one has even more meaning behind it, since the Yanks beat us exactly a week earlier. Another loss here, and we might as well become the 53rd state.

Naturally, the jerseys never touch our body. They’re thrown over the couch again. We’re all in the same seats. And we win.

What a glorious evening. Nothing in my 21-year existence has yet to rival that moment, when Sidney Crosby beat Ryan Miller in overtime to give Canada “a once in a lifetime Olympic gold.” Surely, it was us.

Let’s fastforward 11 months. It’s Monday January 3, 2011. Team Canada is facing off against Team USA in the semi-final of the World Junior Hockey Championship in Buffalo, NY. Their barn. They want revenge.

It’s the first game after Christmas break that the whole crew is together again. So we stick to tradition. Gabe and I throw our jerseys over the couch. We sit in the same seats. And Canada wins. The only thing that stands in the way of us and our gold medal, is Russia.

On the eve of the gold medal game, our roommate, Dom, proposes something different. Instead of just hanging out at home to watch the game like we always do, maybe we should go out. It could be fun. Being with hundreds of fans cheering on the same team is magical. Gabe and I entertain the idea. We’ll think about it, we say. Let’s play it by ear.

The next morning, another friend, Tyler, sends a text. “What are your plans for the game tonight?”

“Probably just hanging at home with the guys,” I respond. What else would we do?

“I’m going to be at school all day, so I’ll probably watch at Ollies,” Tyler retorts, in reference to Olivers, the campus pub at Carleton University.

Not wanting to have anybody left out from our group, I come back with: “Well we were thinking about maybe going out. I’ll see what the other guys say.”

The other guys are down with Ollies. So we go to Ollies. We break the tradition.

Instead of wearing a simple white t-shirt with out jerseys hung behind us, Gabe and I embark to school, sweaters on our backs. I have to admit, the thought of breaking supersition crossed my mind. I shrugged it off. You’re just being paranoid, I said to myself.

It was a wild environment. People dressed in red and white, all cheering our boys on. It was magical.

Canada goes up 1-0. Then 2-0, then 3-0. 40 minutes in the books. We’re coasting.

But then, it hits us like a car accident.

Two minutes in, the Russians score. We’re upset we lost the shutout.

A minute later, they score again. Now it’s a game. Some in the bar are happy. At least it’ll be an exciting finish, they say.

Less than 10 minutes later, the game is tied. Now we’re all worried.

Then, the unthinkable. With four and a half minutes to play, the Russians take the lead. We’re panicking now. Is this really happening? I didn’t utter a single syllable for the next five minutes.

We’re putting on the pressure, but we can’t score. A Russian forward breaks free and scores. 5-3 bad guys. Game over. Not even Jordan Eberle can save us now.

But then, I experience one of the most Canadian minutes of my entire lifetime.

It’s tradition to sing your national anthem after you win an international hockey game. I almost cried when we sang after the Olympic gold win. But with 10 seconds left and our team staring defeat in the face, every single person in Oliver’s Pub stood, removed their hats, tooques and caps, and belted out “O, Canada”. I’m not sure I’ve ever been more proud to be Canadian.

The sun will come up tomorrow morning. I will immediately remember the night before, and how our country suffered one of the most magnificent collapses in the history of our game. But I’ll get up, go to class, and other than discussing it with a few people who I didn’t see the night before, I’ll forget it happened. 11 months from now when the tournament starts up again, I’ll use this night as motivation to cheer on our boys even harder than ever before.

It’s our game. It belongs to us. And when it starts on Boxing Day in Alberta in December 2011, we’ll be hungry to take it back.

P.S. (blogs don’t normally have a P.S.) Please don’t update your Facebook or Twitter with “what choke” or “I’m disgusted” because for as bad as we feel as fans, as upset as we are as spectators, those teenagers who put everything on the line to win for us, feel a million times worse. Please think of them first.

Boys With Balls eulogy: A season of ups and downs

The Boys With Balls hockey team was eliminated from the SBHL playoffs last week with an 8-4 loss to the Misty C Ballers. The team finished with an overall record of 5-10 through regular season and playoffs.

In the spring, Yahoo! Sports wrote a series of pieces called “Puck Euologies”, paying tribute to teams as they fell out of the race for the Stanley Cup. In honour of that, I present to you the 2010 Boys With Balls puck eulogy.

The start of the season was anything but .. good. Even mediocre would have been acceptable. It was so bad, you could compare it to the first seven games of the Toronto Maple Leafs season. Sure that “NHL” team lost eight straight to start the year, while BWB lost just three, but at least some of their games were respectable. The Boys lost their opening triad of matches by a combined score of 25-5. They popped their cherry in the fourth game of the season against a team called Ottawa Black. I guess even the worst teams in Toronto can still beat an Ottawa team when they need to.

From there the season had about as much consistency as Vesa Toskala’s glove hand. Win one, lose one, win two, lose four, win two, lose two. To truly understand this team’s struggles, you’d have to understand the enigma that was their offense. I’m not even sure a nuclear physicist would have been able to solve this puzzle.

The same team that got shutout (that’s right ZERO goals in a ball hockey game), set a league record by scoring 17 in a single game. Their top two goal scorers, Tim Correia and Matt Di Nicolantonio, had 27 of the team’s 65 goals, good for 42%. They scored three or fewer goals in seven of their fifteen games. They had a player score a hat trick on three separate occasions, while having a player score five goals twice more. The team was an offensive juggernaut on some occasions, but looked like a wounded animal struggling to find its way home on others. Then there was the back-checking. Let’s just say you’d be more likely to see James Bertola turn down a free pasta dinner than see a BWB forward standing in his own zone on a breakout.

The defense was generally a solid corps, anchored by stalwart Steve Costantini. If there had been that kind of defending in the Sudetenland, there wouldn’t have been a World War II. Ket Patel was also a plug in the back end, providing tenacious and steady support, but he mysteriously disappeared for the team’s final five games, which led to their demise. Scotty Thomson, Lukas Notten, Brendan Pon and John Mastrella all took turns attempting to contain a full-on offensive attack by themselves, and they all performed up to task. More often than not, the defence held the offense at bay for as long as they could.

Goaltender Dave Capo was a Jekyll and Hyde character for BWB this season. At times he showed flashes of brilliance from his glory days as a first baseman that earned him the nickname “Sponge Dave”. On other occasions he was a combination of Vesa Toskala, Andrew Raycrofy and Trevor Kidd wrapped up into one package. That’s not an affront on the netminder at all. Playing net in ball hockey is no walk in the park, and he usually gave the team a chance to win before they found a way to lose it on their own. Nobody gave a consistent performance on every night of the season, and the Sponge was no different.

Lastly, there was coach Barney Bailie, father of captain Josh. He returned to coach for the third season, and the attrocities of the first three games under his command are well-documented. The first victory of the season also happened to be the first game that he was absent for. Fans and critics alike were immediately calling for his dismissal, claiming the team was better off coaching itself. His high-pitched screaming was often audible from every corner of the arena, and by season’s end, players were giving 150% effort just so they wouldn’t have to hear his blast. While it proved to be an interesting motivational tactic, the team has yet to comment on whether Bailie senior will be returning for a fourth season behind the bench.

Overall, the 2010 BWB season was full of ups and downs, rises and falls, and balls bouncing every which way.  Considering the team hadn’t played in two years, they exceeded expectations with a late-season surge, and with proper conditioning and continued committment to winning, this should be a team on the rise, which will be harder to face in the future.

Final Stats Leaders

Games Played – Tim Correia, Josh Bailie, Dave Capo (15)

Goals – Tim Correia (17)

Assists – Brendan Pon (9)

Total Points – Tim Correia (23)

Penalty Minutes – Matt Di Nicolantonio, John Mastrella (stat not formally kept, we couldn’t decide who ended up having more)

Fights – Matt Di Nicolantonio (1/2)

Stitches – Lukas Notten (does the number really matter, either way, he’s the man)

Teeth Nearly Lost – Daniel Hofland (see above)

Vomit on Bench – James Bertola (2)

Full Stats

	GP	G	A	TP
Tim Correia	15	17	6	23
Matt Di Nicolantonio	14	10	8	18
Brendan Pon	14	7	9	16
John Mastrella	14	8	7	15
James Bertola	12	5	8	13
Daniel Hofland	14	7	5	12
Josh Bailie	15	3	6	9
Steve Costantini	13	2	6	8
Mark Gaglione	12	2	5	7
Lukas Notten	13	2	4	6
Scott Thomson	14	1	3	4
Ket Patel	10	1	1	2
Zubin Mistry	2	0	0	0
Ricky Bhatia	3	0	0	0
		W	L	T	GAA	GA
Dave Capo	15	5	10	0	5.13	77

Boys with Balls pop Generals’ cherry; stumble into playoffs

The Boys with Balls had put together some solid streaks of twos. Two straight wins; two straight games with the goals for tally carrying a ‘7’ in it; two straight games with a player scoring 5 goals; two straight games with leading scorer Tim Correia recording at least three goals; two straight games holding their opponents to only three goals.

Then along came a matchup against the lowly Generals. The same team (at least on paper) that they’d defeated 17-3 two weeks earlier. It should have been a cake walk victory and smooth sailing into locking up fifth place in the SBHL Tuesday Night standings. But instead, the unforeseen happened. The Generals (for the record, using at least one ringer, and a substitute goalie) shocked the hockey world by pulling off a 3-1 upset; their first victory of the season.

“Nobody likes being somebody else’s first,” says captain Josh Bailie. “We just kinda lay down and took it from them tonight.”

Struggling to get anything going offensively, the BWB showed cracks in their defence, and the Generals pounced on their opportunities.

“We could have played stronger in our own zone tonight,” said Matt Di Nicolantonio. “It was just an embarassing effort from the entire team in the back end.”

A silver lining is that since losing 7-0 on June 29, they’ve allowed just three goals in each of their last three games.

James Bertola scored the only goal, his fourth of the season. But it very easily could have been more for the hulking winger.

“He ROBBED me on at least two chances,” the enigmatic forward said. “I had about 10 shots on net tonight, and easily could have had three or four goals.”

So now the BWB will crawl into the playoffs for a first-round matchup against the Misty C Ballers, a team that defeated them 5-3 earlier in the season.

“It’s going to be a tough test for sure,” says Bailie. “It’s going to be a matter of who wants it more, and in this case, who has the better balls.”

In a strange twist of fate, this game matches the only two teams in the league who have not drawn a tie. That’s only fitting because ties are out the window now. It’s win-or-go-home.

“We’re into cliché territory now,” says Di Nicolantonio. “We could sit here for an hour and spew out a hundred of them, but we’ll just have to show up tomorrow night and play like we know we can. If we do that, we’re confident we can win.”

Boys With Balls v. Misty C Ballers. Tuesday night at Mississauga Valley Arena at 9:00 p.m.